I’m very much addicted to lip balm. I can come up with an array of excuses to justify my obsession, such as blaming it on the cold dry climate I live in. But at the end of the day that would just lead me down a path of denial. So instead I have tried to rationalize with myself.
You see, part of the reason why this addiction came about is because I often lick my lips. I don’t lick my lips as much as LL Cool J does when he’s hosting the Grammy’s. But I still lick them enough to feel the need to apply lip balm several times a day. BY THE WAY- Here’s a fun drinking game; every time LL Cool J licks his lips you take a shot. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah lip balm. P.S from now on I will refer to it simply as “lb”.
So if I’m confessing here I should reveal that at any given time you can find at least 3 different lb type products in my purse. During the winter don’t be surprised if there are a few extra. It’s also likely that most woman carry at least one tube of lb with them at all times. I’m a believer that millions of years ago cavemen had lb that they applied every morning and before bed when they slept in their caves. I read that somewhere, I promise. You need lb, or else your lips with crack, crust and fall off. IT’S SCIENCE!!!
I have tried almost every brand of lb and I have a list of favorites for every occasion or need….
Best SPF- Climate Control Lip Treatment Dermalogica
To add a bit of color – Baby Lips Maybelline
Ultra hydrating – good old Vaseline!
For when you forget your lipstick – Dior Addict Lip Glow
Fancy Shmancy – L’OCCITANE Pink Lip Balm
For chapped lips – Advanced Formula Lip Balm
It seems like an innocent obsession, right? Part of the reason why we love hoarding and applying lb has to do with the idea that our lips need it for moisture, right? Lately I have been questioning my addiction as new evidence has been brought to my attention. This is a two part theory, Part One I will call the Psychological Element, and Part Two Part is Male Theory Against Lip Balm. Don’t laugh, this is all very real!
Part I: The Psychological Element
The psychological element to the lb phenomenon comes into play when you are out in public. Do you find that you could be perfectly content with your lip moisture level but if someone across the room takes out their chap stick you’re suddenly licking your lips, twitching and reaching for your purse. How often do you apply lb when you’re in the confines of your own home? I would bet not that often. You see another woman applying lb, you apply lb. I dare you to resist next time a friend of yours applies it in front of you.
Part II: Male Theory Against Lip Balm
Interestingly enough, men always seem to have supple looking lips, right? Yet they shy away from using lb products all together. HOW CAN THIS BE? Refer to above, why haven’t their lips crusted off yet?!?! Oh, so you haven’t heard the male theory against lb? FYI, there is a widespread conspiracy lead by the global male community that everyone’s lips are born supple and perfect, and on that fateful day when you apply chap stick on your virgin lips you are ruining yourself FOREVER by starting the beginning of a life time addiction. Lb is a gateway drug. No, no, lb is crack!
If you don’t believe me just ask your bf, husband, or dad about crack, I mean lip balm. They will say something along the lines of “You don’t need it, you’re just making your lips dependent on the product the more you use it”.
So there you have it. Today’s theory on why you really may not need to apply lb so often….but that’s no fun. If you’re anything like me you’ll ignore this completely and maybe even go buy yourself a new tube of the stuff tonight. Cause now I got in your head…bet you cant resist licking your lips ;)